Wednesday, 20 July 2011

family holiday from hell

So I have no idea where to start. Let me begin by explaining the titles, although it was probably one of the best holidays I have been on, certain moments promoted this holiday to the best and the worst family getaway ever. You couldn't even call it a "getaway" per se, more like a punishment that is geographically and economically impossible to escape from. 

Now, I say economically for 2 reasons:  
1. My parents had all the money, and boy did they let me know that everyday. 
2. The tables inevitably turned on the two Asian Hitlers when our credit cards all got cancelled for being used in a foreign country without the bank's awareness. Thank you credit fraud detector! Son of a bitch

So now that I have established the situation, we can move on. This all happened on the first day in Paris which was alas, the first day in Europe. So no credit card, no money, no honey. So moving on, not only did the credit card cancellations cock block us from shopping in later countries (i.e. Italy), it added to my parents' delightful moods...nawt. I think I saw a new side to my mum this trip, almost like I had killed her favourite son (i.e. my brother), and hid him under her sheets. 

I told my dad on the last day of the trip that I was going to practice how to put on my shoes and start up my car the quickest in the family so I could be the fastest at running away from my mother whenever she went postal. Postal isn't good. You don't want to see a person go postal, nor do you ever want to experience it. This was my mother everyday overseas. Australia fricken' Post

So being the favourite child I am, I decided to annoy her more by photo bombing every. single. one. of. her. photos. Now back in My Tho, mum's hometown reppin', Nga was notorious for her photos. Not in a good way. Hell no. Girls at the developing stations would leg it 5 miles up the road if they saw her coming with her memory cards. It was like the Apocalypse was approaching, and it was comin' real quick. So in doing so, my mum hated me just that little bit more. It brought me sick forms of joy every time I ruined a photo, but it filled my heart with inexplicable happiness. 

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