Satchels, clutches, pouches, purses, murses, wallets or carry alls - whatever you call them, they all achieve one thing: eye jizzing. What is life without an inconveniently sized clutch that holds nothing more than a mobile phone and possibly a few dollar billz but they were all the rage during the global fashion weeks and I'm all over them like a fat kid stuck in a McDonald's tubular slide.
Céline
So ladies, here we have our first piece in our pouch collection: the Céline pouch (cue department store music). This piece comes in various colour ways and styles and recently, dual coloured lambskin clutches have been growing more popular.
I want this one more than asian parents want their kids to succeed. Modelled by Marie Claire's Taylor Tomasi Hill. I love rangas.
American Apparel
Next on the agenda are the American Apparel carry alls, seen carried by every Tom, Dick and Harry blogger in the world. Naturally, in Australia (where the fricken country is run by koalas and that's why we get shit all in terms of fashion), we are only limited to three colours: tan, black and stone.
But usually, these carry alls are a chance to add some colour to our outfits and especially with winter fast approaching, nothing like a bright yellow clutch to help traffic see you easily through the rain and hail. Am I right? Always.
Buttercup carry all modelled by Fashion Squad's Carolina Engman.
Comme des Garçons
This has got to be the hardest pouch to track down. How can the whole wide fricken globe be sold out?! I'm over it, I might as well make my own out of the leather from the couch because I can't seem to find any of these pouches! Thank God for Melbourne.
But in all seriousness, everyone should really invest in one...then send it over to me because this is just getting a little ridiculous.
The pouch in the photo below is dual coloured, pink on one side and lime green on the other. I'm currently trying to track down an orange one with cobalt blue on the other side - here's to hoping!
Love you all and stay safe! And by safe, I mean use protection because I just got the sex talk from Nga and she's lecturing me about not becoming a slut. How does she know that word?! Anyway, she told me there's all kind of stuff floating around out there: drugs being injected into food, STD's, prostitutes and of course, sluts who boys don't respect.
Right mum...It wasn't so much as a sex talk but a general "where is your life going?" talk. Additionally, I shouldn't get paid for sex and if I do want to get married (and that is one big if), marry a Vietnamese boy who has an undergraduate degree in law and will agree to a prenup. Lastly, don't be a slut.
I've never heard the word slut so much in my life. Mum's been watching too much Vietnamese dubbed Korean soaps. Don't even get me started on how drug injected food was brought into the conversation, but basically, every time I am sick, Nga seems to think I've been hanging out with the wrong crowd and they've been offerring me heroin. Are you kidding me? And there you have an insight into my dull existence, brightened by the daily musings of my Asian mother. She gets ideas into her head from her paranoid sisters and decides to plague me with them. I can't wait to have children.
On that note, I am off to watch Sex and the City and potentially get some advice from Samantha - Nga would larrrrve that. Maybe I should watch it with her?
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